Lower the Bar, People

Imagination has officially been replaced with proof.

1. Emma's friend put the tooth she lost into a cup and set it in a dish filled with water to catch the Tooth Fairy Dust. Emma lost a tooth yesterday and is ready to try it tonight (She took the tooth over to a cousin's house and left it there, so we got it back today).
   
2. There's also this really cute book called "Elf on a Shelf" that comes with a stuffed elf that comes alive at night, but only in December. Sometimes the elves do nice things, like load the dishwasher or fold a load of laundry, but most are mischievous—pulling books of the shelf, hiding TV remotes (but we get that in other months, too, and in broad daylight), unlacing shoes.
   
3. And there's reindeer feed. Oatmeal with glitter that you sprinkle on your front yard for the reindeer.

The kids love it, but I guess I'm old-school. We set out milk and cookies, Santa fills our stockings and we've heard his sleigh bells, the Tooth Fairy leaves a dollar (not always on the first night, but she makes it.), and the Easter Bunny gets better at hiding those eggs every year.

But I'm wary of glitter. I feel burdened. When I was a kid (it wasn't that long ago, really) all we needed was a present to know Santa was real. He signed the tag, for goodness' sake. How can an imaginary being sign a tag?

So, to the parents of my kids' friends, please tell Santa and the tooth fairy take it easy. Especially you, Tooth Fairy- no more ten-dollar exchanges for a worn-out baby tooth. You may use them to build your castle in the clouds, but they're not worth all that. I'm begging.