Updates

First of all, the Tooth Fairy visited last night. Emma's trap for fairy dust did not work, but the Tooth Fairy inadvertently (so we guess) walked across the dollar she left, leaving a very clear trail of high heel prints in gold glitter, about a size .03. Kapow! Take that, neighbors' and friends' parents! Our Tooth Fairy ROCKS!

Second, I have decided to split my writing and personal life into two separate blogs. Because "Ink Well" has been used, I am keeping my url "kaykaybe.blogspot.com" for my personal life and have created a new writing blog "Book Readress". Get it? You are all welcome at either one. I just want to be free to talk about potty training without coming across as unprofessional:) I would also like to encourage you to click the button that says "Follow" because I'm not linking on Facebook every time I blog.

Third, I have a new publishing plan called "Live to be a Hundred". I was looking over Slate's list of powerful octogenarians, "80 over 80", and noticed that 18 of them were listed as writers. This is not counting the # 1 pick, President of the Mormon Church, Thomas S. Monson. He's written several books, so it should be 19/80. So roughly one out of four of the powerful octogenarians have written a book. Many of them are memoirs, but still. I tend to procrastinate, so I gave myself an extra twenty years.

Fourth, your comments make me smile.

I'm surprised we didn't get one of these letters from the Tooth Fairy.

Dear _________________ :

Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case
of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your
request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found

( ) it was not a human tooth

( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor

( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash

( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you

( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails

( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
appropriate action

( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
fairy

( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received

( ) the tooth is still in your mouth

( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time
of our visit

( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit

( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory,
or were missing

( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in
the future.

Sincerely, The Tooth Fairy

From Funny Jokes blog.
Can't get enough?

Lower the Bar, People

Imagination has officially been replaced with proof.

1. Emma's friend put the tooth she lost into a cup and set it in a dish filled with water to catch the Tooth Fairy Dust. Emma lost a tooth yesterday and is ready to try it tonight (She took the tooth over to a cousin's house and left it there, so we got it back today).
   
2. There's also this really cute book called "Elf on a Shelf" that comes with a stuffed elf that comes alive at night, but only in December. Sometimes the elves do nice things, like load the dishwasher or fold a load of laundry, but most are mischievous—pulling books of the shelf, hiding TV remotes (but we get that in other months, too, and in broad daylight), unlacing shoes.
   
3. And there's reindeer feed. Oatmeal with glitter that you sprinkle on your front yard for the reindeer.

The kids love it, but I guess I'm old-school. We set out milk and cookies, Santa fills our stockings and we've heard his sleigh bells, the Tooth Fairy leaves a dollar (not always on the first night, but she makes it.), and the Easter Bunny gets better at hiding those eggs every year.

But I'm wary of glitter. I feel burdened. When I was a kid (it wasn't that long ago, really) all we needed was a present to know Santa was real. He signed the tag, for goodness' sake. How can an imaginary being sign a tag?

So, to the parents of my kids' friends, please tell Santa and the tooth fairy take it easy. Especially you, Tooth Fairy- no more ten-dollar exchanges for a worn-out baby tooth. You may use them to build your castle in the clouds, but they're not worth all that. I'm begging.

Can't get enough?